Unbearable Lightness of Being
Thursday 9 October 2014
Thursday 29 May 2014
Him
Then suddenly the texting stops. You ask him what's wrong and he says nothing. You're clingy and always the first one to initiate a conversation. He starts acting aloof, he's always occupied. Soon after he said he doesn't feel it anymore. He doesn't feel like he did before. Every time you both talk, it turns to a fight. Now you're scared that you're bothering him and so you stop talking. Days turn into months and not a word has been said. Every night turns in a puddle of tears. Your friends tell you to get over him, they say you don't deserve the pain, but you don't know any way else. You need him. You miss what he was, what you had.
And one day, you see there's someone else. A new girl who he texts all day, who he goes out with, who he calls cute names. You see he is completely fine without you, in fact he doesn't even seem to remember you. He tells her everything he used to tell you. He calls her baby and admires her beauty. He's moved on completely but you can't seem to let go. A part of you still believes he'll come back and everything will go back to normal, but another part knows that will never happen. You compare every guy you meet to him. He's on your mind every second of the day.
He was the one who fixed your ache, only to give you one that was much more painful.
Wednesday 23 April 2014
First year.
Thursday 17 October 2013
Bad Decisions
I cannot be trusted to even choose the right Instagram filters, but I've still been given liberty to make my life decisions. Where is the sense in that?
I jump into things to fast. Ever heard of the girl who fell too soon and a bit too hard? Yeah, that isn't me. Ever heard of the girl who makes up scenarios, thinks she's fallen, acts on her feelings, gets what she wants, and then stops wanting it? Yeah, that one's me.
I don't know what to do with myself.
Wednesday 10 July 2013
Mindless Rambling
What makes us who we are? Some people say it's experience. What happens to us helps us build ourselves as well as our future. Or maybe it's the books we read, the movies we watch, the places we visit, the memories we store, the people we love, the moments we cherish.
I want to know what made me who I am. I want to know why I act or talk or think the way I do. I want to know if people like me, or if I'm probably the most obnoxious person they know. I want to know everything there is to know about myself, because only then I'll be ready to give myself completely to someone else.
Last night I ended another chapter of my life, I broke a heart, I shed my tears, I waited for solace.
Is it true when they say we all have a soul mate? Do we really have someone who'll love us no matter what. Like the love between the sun and the moon?
That's what I want. That's how I want to feel. Am I ready for it? I don't think so. Do I need to change to find that? Perhaps.
But what gives me a sense of peace is that sooner or later, I will. You will too. Because we're waiting for that somebody and they're waiting for us.
Happy endings are not a rarity, they're a surity.