My Feudal Lord

Tehmina Durrani married herself into one of her worst decisions in life. This woman fell for a man twice her age and one of Pakistan's most influential politicians, usually referred to as Sher e' Punjab, Ghulam Mustafa Khar.

This book revolves around her struggle in a marriage that kept closing in on her like a noose around her neck. A man that began their love story with the kindest of words and the softest caresses turned into a brutal animal once he held her as 'his own'. Their marriage was marred by her husband's affair with her sister and physical abuse.

Why are women considered as possessions? What is the need to objectify your girlfriend or your wife or your mother or your daughter? I'm not going to generalize but we all know that there are men out there who are adamant on establishing their dominance through violence. If your woman is appreciated for a beauty; beat her up. If your woman is not presentable enough at a social gathering; beat her up. If she is responsive in bed; beat her up. If she isn't responsive in bed; beat her up.

The story revolves around a marriage that lasted 13 years during the 70's-80's. People defend those practices by saying it's backward, but what about now? In this age and time, women are still being abused; mentally, physically and sexually for absolutely no rhyme or reason.

This isn't restricted a particular religion, for all those who say 'ah Muslims', please do try and get your hands on a book called Escape-Carolyn Jessop. This woman belonged to a Christian polygamist sect and was even more brutally tortured. These examples I put forward are of those women who had the courage to fight back and escape from their apparent fate. Two out of the millions who might be still suffering under the hands of their men.

 

We are the new generation, the educated, the well read, the socially aware. It is time to clean our society of this orthodox belief of patriarchy. It is not important for a particular gender to enfore dominance in a relationship. Embrace each other and their ways of life and learn to live with it. Domestic abuse or any abuse, is a crime. Report it, and fight back. Take a stand, ask for help and change your situation.

 

And to the general public, don't ask yourself "why does she put up with it?", ask yourself "why does he do it?"