Bad Decisions

I don't understand. why do we have to make decisions, live through them and only then realize how badly we've screwed up. I mean, why can't there be a placard popping out in front of us which says 'No, don't do this, you will not want this exactly 24 hours after you've agreed to want it'. Literally every life changing decision I make, ends with me banging my head on the wall.
I cannot be trusted to even choose the right Instagram filters, but I've still been given liberty to make my life decisions. Where is the sense in that?
I jump into things to fast. Ever heard of the girl who fell too soon and a bit too hard? Yeah, that isn't me. Ever heard of the girl who makes up scenarios, thinks she's fallen, acts on her feelings, gets what she wants, and then stops wanting it? Yeah, that one's me.
I don't know what to do with myself.

Mindless Rambling

What makes us who we are? Some people say it's experience. What happens to us helps us build ourselves as well as our future. Or maybe it's the books we read, the movies we watch, the places we visit, the memories we store, the people we love, the moments we cherish.
I want to know what made me who I am. I want to know why I act or talk or think the way I do. I want to know if people like me, or if I'm probably the most obnoxious person they know. I want to know everything there is to know about myself, because only then I'll be ready to give myself completely to someone else.
Last night I ended another chapter of my life, I broke a heart, I shed my tears, I waited for solace.
Is it true when they say we all have a soul mate? Do we really have someone who'll love us no matter what. Like the love between the sun and the moon?
That's what I want. That's how I want to feel. Am I ready for it? I don't think so. Do I need to change to find that? Perhaps.
But what gives me a sense of peace is that sooner or later, I will. You will too. Because we're waiting for that somebody and they're waiting for us.
Happy endings are not a rarity, they're a surity.

Enlighten yourselves, gentlemen

My Feudal Lord

Tehmina Durrani married herself into one of her worst decisions in life. This woman fell for a man twice her age and one of Pakistan's most influential politicians, usually referred to as Sher e' Punjab, Ghulam Mustafa Khar.

This book revolves around her struggle in a marriage that kept closing in on her like a noose around her neck. A man that began their love story with the kindest of words and the softest caresses turned into a brutal animal once he held her as 'his own'. Their marriage was marred by her husband's affair with her sister and physical abuse.

Why are women considered as possessions? What is the need to objectify your girlfriend or your wife or your mother or your daughter? I'm not going to generalize but we all know that there are men out there who are adamant on establishing their dominance through violence. If your woman is appreciated for a beauty; beat her up. If your woman is not presentable enough at a social gathering; beat her up. If she is responsive in bed; beat her up. If she isn't responsive in bed; beat her up.

The story revolves around a marriage that lasted 13 years during the 70's-80's. People defend those practices by saying it's backward, but what about now? In this age and time, women are still being abused; mentally, physically and sexually for absolutely no rhyme or reason.

This isn't restricted a particular religion, for all those who say 'ah Muslims', please do try and get your hands on a book called Escape-Carolyn Jessop. This woman belonged to a Christian polygamist sect and was even more brutally tortured. These examples I put forward are of those women who had the courage to fight back and escape from their apparent fate. Two out of the millions who might be still suffering under the hands of their men.

 

We are the new generation, the educated, the well read, the socially aware. It is time to clean our society of this orthodox belief of patriarchy. It is not important for a particular gender to enfore dominance in a relationship. Embrace each other and their ways of life and learn to live with it. Domestic abuse or any abuse, is a crime. Report it, and fight back. Take a stand, ask for help and change your situation.

 

And to the general public, don't ask yourself "why does she put up with it?", ask yourself "why does he do it?"

Audrey Kathleen Ruston

Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a Baron, the daughter of a Nazi sympathizer. She spent her teenage years doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the Nazis. She spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.
..and history remembers her as pretty.

'Cause people seem to only remember the 20-something Audrey Hepburn.

writingaboutwhateverthehellIwant.blogspot.com

So as I was going through almost every blog up here, I noticed quite a few family blogs. Firstly it's so cute that these middle aged mothers actually take time out each day from their busy schedules only to help the rest of the world have an accurate timeline of their children. Literally everything done by their family is documented, "the little one asked for a car today", "the teenager forgot to lock her door today", "the mister bought me a gift today". Everything is so published. I'm sure I can tell you more about the Winsors than their own kids, or about the Ms. Susan; but that's me and the 72000 other visitors she's had.

The there are food blogs, I think every form of social rambling has to include the foodies. Be it our foodgrammers on instagram or our fitblrs on tumblr, food deserves a spot in the social world and they're here to represent! In a short period of 20 minutes, I've definitely learnt about 5 recipes to the least, whether I'll every attempt them is a totally different story altogether, but it's the thought that counts and I surely thought of trying them.

The photographers. These have two kinds, the bad ones and the good ones. The bad ones are bad and should probably throw their camera in a ditch, but they're never going to know their bad if they have 500 page-views everyday. Then the good ones, damn I've already selected a couple to photograph my wedding.

What I love about blog-spot is that no matter what you are, or where your passion lies, there is a complete freedom of expression, and there are thousands of people who are actually willing to sit themselves down and read exactly what you've got to say.
Quality of writing or even the basic sanity of your piece hardly matters. There is bound to be someone from those billion users who 'feels you' and is bound to read you, 

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred? How did it find us? Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way, consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"

- Lucas Scott

Amour

My mother always said 'Don't be with a man who you love, be with a man who loves you'. Eerily enough that little rebel in me unknowingly did quite the opposite. I loved someone, who didn't love me. I know some of you mature and stable relationship holders may scoff and say "you're just a kid, you can't even spell love", but it's true and it's time everyone accepts it. You can love, no matter what your age, you can be in love and maybe eventually out of love, it's a circle of life, no hard and fast rule of this is how it has always been and this is how it will be.

Well back to myself, this boy, notice how I called him a boy and not a man, because if there was an ounce of manhood in him, he wouldn't have screwed me over. He dated me as a 'why not', not as a 'hell yes I want this', for him it was just a 'why not'. But well I stuck by him through thick and thin, my mother also lost her marbles trying to handle me, but NO, I loved him so I had to stick by my love. And long story short, he screwed me over, eventually dated his real love and well apparently that was the best time of his life and what not. But I'm not angry, or upset, far from that actually. I'm happy for him. Granted we didn't work, but I'm happy he found happiness in someone. Maybe I wouldn't have been as happy as I am if I didn't have a knight in shining armor come and save my bruised ego.

So then came boy phase 2. This one apparently liked me for ages and just couldn't do anything about it because I was way too busy maintaining my Stockholm syndrome. Now I like to call myself a new age feminist. I'm not those hard core annoyances, but well I can very well put up a fight for my gender. Now being someone who has always wanted equality, it was almost insulting to wait around for him to make a move, so I did it. I told him I liked him and now I'm a month into the most amazing relationship possible. Let's not get sappy, but I'm so happy with him. What sucks is that we're off to different places for college. And unfortunately I'm not a very strong believer in long distance relationships, but I want this so bad, I want him so bad, I'm willing to try.

I don't know what will happen in my not so nicely narrated love life, but what I do want to say is that firstly, so many of you out there are with the absolute wrong person. You know it, and no matter how many times you deny, an individual always knows when something or someone is just not right. As they say, if you hold on to the bad things, you're just delaying the good things from happening. Secondly, if you want something or someone, turn the world upside down to get it. Mind you this does not apply to all you druggies. But what I'm saying is, don't hesitate to take the first step and take it now, or you might miss out.

There is someone out there for everyone, but if we don't go and find this someone, this someone might just get tired of waiting and embrace celibacy. Make a move, not for my sake, but for your happiness.  

Stopped Tumbling and started a Blog

This is my third attempt at blogging. I remember my second try leaving me so frustrated that I actually went and started tumbling, which didn't even include much brain activity, I just re blogged pictures.

I wouldn't say I have a writer's block, but I clearly don't know how to put my thoughts into words, although I have an abundance of the former. For me writing always takes a sappy or emotional twist. Let me put it this way, I can make people cry, not even at my brilliantly sorrowful stories, mostly just about the fact that I actually wrote something... which says a lot about me.

I just read my friends blog and as I went to compliment him on it's brilliance he asked me to start blogging too. Seems like he had confidence in my ability of writing more than myself. Although he tried using the fact that I took psychology in high school as a validation, OH maybe I should counsel people over here, for free. I can handle depression and mania and social pressure and everything.

See? First post and I've already flitted from Tumblr to my friend to how my subconscious wishes to be a psychologist. I suppose from the next post onward I should begin with a title and rotate around the title itself, this random train of thought is reaching a dead end.

Well, until inspiration strikes again.
Adieus folks!